Quotes by Tom

---> I hope this song touches you like your father does."

Hey..how old are you? 15? OH MY GOD!!! Put those things away.

It's cold, it's raining.....and this is the most boringest place on earth.

I wanna have an orgasm on stage here, all I need is some light kisses to the tip of my dick. Just little small ones.

We write songs about love, life friendship, food.....your mom.

For me, sex with a girl is a race to orgasm, and I am undefeated.

Just one boobie will make me horny as shit. And if you have three boobies, then I'll get really really horny!

I can't live without Mexican food.

Marks penis only turns in a 90 degree angle.

Is this healthy? The rain, the cold, the Germany? The snot, the nose, the fever?

I don't get boy bands these days. They don't write their own songs and everything is choreographed from their dance moves to how they have sex with each other after the show.

Do I look feminine when I stand like this?"

Fuck me, I'm losing respect for myself as an artist.....and as a lover.

Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable.

I wet myself at night when I'm asleep, just like everybody.....I spy on my dad when he's taking a shower just like everybody else in this world.....we're not just a joke band

We don't want to act like adults. Anybody who can stay in a state of adolescence will be much better off later on. Look at people who are working nine-to-five jobs out of college, and look at professional skateboarders or guys in punk bands. See who's having more fun.

Please don't throw up your dirty toilet paper, we're not hungry

This type of music has a limited time span so we have to evolve and do the best we can now.

I masturbated like 5 times in the last 24 hours, it hurts, I think it's gonna fall off

Our take on punk is really just fun: it's fun to offend people and do what we want to. But it isn't that offensive. We make music for ourselves and everybody else who gets it. It's a lifestyle scene. If you don't get it you don't have to listen.

I haven't grown up at all since I was a freshmen in high school, and neither has my dick.

We take our music very seriously.

I study that stuff, man, UFOs ... I'll tell you that I think in the next year the US government is going to come out and admit that aliens have visited Earth. The reason I think that is that I listen to this radio show at home which deals with all this stuff.

I came up with a little formula, If you write songs about girls you get girls at show. We write a lot of songs about girls.

Our take on punk is really just fun: it's fun to offend people and do what we want to. But it isn't that offensive. We make music for ourselves and everybody else who gets it. It's a lifestyle scene. If you don't get it you don't have to listen.

And as for signing to a bigger label .... well I'd like to make a lot of money and fuck credibility. If I did it doesn't make me any different. Just richer.

I think we need to rehearse more often. At least that's what people have been telling us for ten years.

It's so obvious that I have the most masculine attributes. If femininity were a sport, Mark and Travis would have a gold medal.

I don't know if you've ever had an enema, but it definitely brought my family closer together and I hope it brings my band closer together.

I've always liked girls. I think vaginas are much more attractive than penises. I think penises are God's cruel joke, I don't even like them, and I have one.

If a person has brains, they probably don't listen to our music. If a person has any pride or any kind of family values, chances are they probably don't listen to us.

Some people think we're idiots or perverts. Don't argue people, we are both.

I came up with a little formula. If you write songs about girls, you get more girls at a show. We write A LOT of songs about girls.

I'm not gay, alot of people think I'm gay. I have a girlfriend, she thinks I'm gay.

I'm picturing you all naked. Now I'm picturing you all in wheel chairs. Ok, sorry that was fucked up.

Quotes By Mark

I know I've got a disgusting body, but I think it's funny, so I'm gonna make people laugh at it

My mom hates the title, she told me the other day, 'Your grandmother keeps asking what the title of the new record is, but I won't tell her.'

I see my job in the band as basically to be on stage as the village idiot, to act like a jackass, and to make a total fool out of myself whenever possible.

Never let anyone tell you how to live your life.

Everyone call Tom a Fuck Head!

I've always shopped at Guitar Center. Hopefully you don’t get the guy with the really, really long hair that just plays fucking "Stairway to Heaven" in front of you for 45 minutes.

please stop undressing me with your eyes while I sit here.

I'm not afraid of bees....AH! BEE!!!

I don't like the taste of beer and ice cream gives me diarrhea.

Remember 2 eat ,sleep,& blink

My name's Mark, I ride a scooter. I'm badass.

See it has nothing to do with how hard you work in life it all has to do with is which ass you kiss.

I think there's nothing more awkward or stupid looking than a naked guy.

I don't need to advertise my punkness. A real punk doesn't need to show off...Its like a Karate man... the Karate man bleed on the inside. A real punk is punk on the inside.

I have no idea why people like our band. Maybe bad taste is in.

you know what it is? Alot of these people are just now jumping on the we hate Tom band waggon. I've been hating Tom since like 1995, I'm oldschool hatin Tom!

We're just regular stupid people.

I like to wash my underwear pair by pair with, um, rose petals.

I spy on my dad when he's taking a shower just like everybody else.

Were not stars.... were all just dorks in a band

We're like, Fisher-Price: My First Punk Band.

I once tried to start a nudist colony in our bus, and it pretty much ended up as just me hanging around naked...

My idea of total misery is sitting in traffic.

The first time i masturbated I was 18 and I blew a hole in the shower because I was saving up for so long.

Travis doesn't say alot :P